Dear exhausted, heavily pregnant mother

“Dear exhausted, heavily pregnant mother:

Your labor will happen. It’ll happen even if you DON’T have sex or eat spicy food or see an acupuncturist or drink a special tea, or use castor or evening primrose oils. It’ll happen even if you DON’T take homeopathics or measure your cervix. It’ll happen even if your baby is posterior, anterior, vertex, breech, transverse or re-enacting the civil war with jazz hands. Your labor will start even if you DON’T go get that non-stress test every week or allow your OB to “check you” or your midwife to “strip you”. No one is pregnant forever. If you put water over high heat…it’s gonna boil. Even without you obsessively checking on it, taking its temperature and running tests on it.

Stop sending your body the message that you don’t trust it enough to go into labor when it needs to. Stop calling your body wisdom “stupid”. My god- if anyone is going to believe in your ability to labor and have your own baby…let it start with you!” Ashley Neffleburt


I have very mixed feelings here after watching the above post. How sad that a newborn has to ask its paretns to understand and have patience with it’s state of normal infnacy and dependance?
Most of the distress I see in families with newborns is that so many people have no idea of the reality of a new baby. Many have never even been babysitters- so the reality of the natural needs of a human child in infancy and beyond feel overwhelming.
Couples often don’t even have a peer group of friends raising kids who can help support and confirm what’s “normal “!
So the poor child becomes a problem and the parent becomes the victim of a myriad of industries who can’t wait to make money off them as they guarantee their ability to “Fix” your baby/child .
Children as young as 18 months are being prescribed incredibly serious medications to make them a “good “ baby!
A human infant isn’t a doll – it’s a person with fixed biological needs as well as a vast array of needs based on who they individually are and their genetics.
It’s a great idea to learn about this before conceiving. And it’s very possible to take a breath, relax and learn this day by day with your child.
Here is your mantra –
My child is perfect, and so am I.
I am the perfect parent for my child, and I’m open as my child reveals its perfection to me.
I have all that I need to meet my babies needs and my own.
I’m so grateful for the gift of this child – and I know my baby is grateful for me and needs me to see him/her – to see beyond the stresses to the perfect and loving person he/she is.
My baby is not a problem waiting to be solved.
My baby is living evidence of the creative power of Love.
I love my baby.
I love my self.
We are Whole perfect and complete!
Samsarah Morgan, Executive Director
Oakland Better Birth Foundation
baby black